Thank you MindfulMan. I am going to see the doctor again tomorrow and will ask if he suggests a dermatologist. My first ENT appointment is on Feb 12 and I have second appointment with a different ENT on Mar 2 (second opinion).
I’m sorry to hear about your friends and hope that they can make a change.
The last time I used cocaine was on Nov 23, 2017. I don’t EVER plan to use again. If you are reading this and you want to stop but can’t, PLEASE stop now!
It is such a powerful drug that gets you hooked and craving more even though you are consciously aware of the damage you are doing to your body. But because the damage is on the inside, you lie to yourself “one last line” “one last time”.
I have stopped hanging out with friends who use but I know I can’t avoid them forever so I’ve made the decision to not drink when I’m around them. I find that every time I’ve quit for months, I relapsed while I was drinking and someone offered me.
I thought that after quitting in November and eating healthy and working out my body would just “fix itself” like it always does coming off a binge. But this time it’s been different, my nose doesn’t feel right it’s very dry and to me almost looks infected and caving in on one side. No one has asked me about it or made a comment yet but I know it’s only a matter of time. What scares me is I don’t know if it will get worse since this started happening after I stopped using. Maybe it’s part of the healing process? Hopefully the ENT can provide some answers and of course time will tell.
I was drinking and smoking more heavily after I stopped on Nov 23 and I think that was slowing down any potential nasal recovery so on Jan 2 I quit smoking and drinking as well. I felt like that was further drying out my sinuses.
When I saw the doctor last week and he told me that my sinuses were extremely inflamed and completely stripped, it made the decision of quitting smoking and drinking almost a no brainer.
As his suggestion I started using Netipot nasal wash every night and a steroid nasal spray every morning.
I also apply some vitamin E oil using a q-tip to the inside of my nostrils every night before bed and sleep with a humidifier in my room.
I can’t say that I feel better or worse but there are times of the day where I can feel that I look and am getting better and there are times where I feel so depressed, angry and disappppointed in myself that I let it come to this.
I’ve cried at least once a day and have had thoughts of suicide and taking a sabbatical from work for a year (I’m self employed so this would be a very financially devastating decision). I’m having anxiety attacks several times a day and am not able to focus on anything for longer than 20 minutes.
I don’t think these feelings are withdrawal symptoms as I didn’t feel this way 2 weeks ago. It’s more of a reaction to the way I can see my nose appearance slowly changing in front of me even though I’ve stopped using a month and a half ago.
It’s a crazy feeling and I pray for everyone going through something similar.
I am praying that my nose stabilizes, my nasal passages heal, the ENT comes back with a “no serious damage - but don’t ever use again” type of report and I promise god and myself that for this second chance I will never use, drink or smoke again.