Hi, Jewelstar--sounds like you're in a bad place, and I'm sorry you've got all this to deal with. I hope you find help here at SR.
Can I suggest that you start a thread over in "Families and Friends of Alcoholics" (link
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/ )? You might find there are some folks there w/insights and information you'd find useful.
Hope to see you over there soon, and wishing you strength and clarity as you decide what path to pursue going forward.