My xabf went back and forh for years, moving in, moving out, huge delays in getting his stuff out of my place (as long as it's in your house there's always the possibility of reuniting idea). It wasn't until he took eveything, albeit the occassional sock I find type-of-thing, and "I" made the decision that enough was enough that i was FINALLY able to move on. Cut ties w/ his family, w/ him because it would only keep me in the spin cycle. This doesn't negate fantasizing that things might "someday" be different sketch... but you'll KNOW when it's a viable possibility or just the same fantasy occupying your mind and in the interim - as long as it's a fantasy you need to be true to yourself and allow the possibility for someone else to fulfill those dreams. Time goes on and you think about "him" less and less, and about "yourself" more and more. IMHO that's when you'll be ready to give a healthy relationship a real go. I think I'm finally ready (been almost 2 years), but the few and far between I have interest in have been caught in my codie radar
This place keeps me grounded. Good luck! Today is a very big step for you!!!!!!