Your post reads as a thriller novel to me. I know that feeling all too well and you know it would just be a happier ending if it didn’t start. I am so proud of you working through it! You can’t help where your addictive mind may take you but you showed a level mind over matter for sure! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻