Not a stupid question. Recovery looks like recovery. It's when the addict follows through on actions and not just says they will do things. It can also take up to 12 months for recovery to stick. Some people say if they can make it 6 months sober, they are on the right track, although I do know of people who have relapsed after 6 months.
Regarding the counseling for the relationship with the other woman... can he focus on his recovery if he has to deal with that too (right now)? That's a lot of things to untangle. It is possible that you might be dealing with someone who is simply dishonest: lying about the drug use, this other woman. (I'm making assumptions here based on the limited information you posted, so advice may not be applicable). Bear in mind that I came from a situation where my ex lied and lied until the cows came home and then until they went out to pasture. So therein lie my biases.
Originally Posted by
Angrymarble 
Stupid question, when do I know when he’s in recovery? I mean he’s going to all kinds of meetings and not drinking....
Some of why we are going to counseling has nothing to do with alcohol but this weird relationship he has with another woman.