I am off wagon
I fell off, I know whats going to happen tomorrow, cringing in the darkness, afraid to go to my own kitchen.
The longest I have been sober, and I mean sober, not just since my last drink, is 6 weeks back in 2005.
This is in about 24 years.
Last year towards the holidays, I managed a couple of almost 2 weeks.
In August September I went 3 weeks.
I was on clonazepam for anxiety because it runs in my family my sister who doesn't drink has been on it for 10 years.
But I don't like Benzo's they are worse than alcohol so I stopped taking it only took it for a few months.
I seem to have a dual diagnosis maybe multiple but find it hard to get decent medical care.
I am going to a meeting on Sunday Beginners discussion I will try this because other AA meetings are not for beginners, although welcoming and supportive.
Im going to keep trying I know what I want, its no longer about what I need its what I want.