OpheliaKatz

He didn't take it lying down, figuratively speaking. He went through this crazy "process" where he tried to dump me first, insulted me, started a smear campaign against me, started posting rubbish on internet forums about me, then he suddenly did a 180 when he ran out of money cause he spent it all on drugs and he tried to come crawling back -- Mr Jekyll/ Mr Hyde.

Oh, you mean, how did it end for ME? Not him, me? I went "no contact" on his @ss. Also, I spoke to people about things... and they really were helpful with the "no contact" part. I was acutely aware that if I tried to contact him, I would lose friends... and if I ever needed their help again, I would not be able to get it because they would be really angry at me for breaking no contact. I didn't want to dig myself into my own grave. I spent a lot of time talking to counselors, a DV service, and also went to Naranon.

I also took a lot of time to grieve. I was sad for, it seemed, forever. I think if I didn't have people around me who were supportive, I would have probably starved to death. SR was helpful. So were Melody Beattie's books. Also, "Psychopath Free" by Jackson Mackenzie. Yes, I know we're talking about addiction here, but as I was reading, I just substituted the word "psychopath" with "addict" and the entire book really made sense. Note: this only works if the addict you dealt with actually has serious narcissistic tendencies... otherwise it will make the book seem really melodramatic.

I've worked through rage and now I just feel sad when I think about what happened... but it's a calm sort of sadness, not desperate like it used to be. I feel... resigned. It's just my fate. This is what happened. This is something that I needed to learn from. That's how I see it.