Originally Posted by
Willitend 
I don’t think he’s going to come back tonight now. That should make me happy because I won’t have to be on eggshells. But it just makes me cry.
Is this normal?!
Yes it is normal, because you are not an unfeeling robot.
You made some tough choices to protect yourself and you are grieving the loss of your partner. It will feel like a death except that no one died. It's just your idea of your life together is dying, so you must grieve. You must let yourself scream into pillows and cry yourself to sleep. If you don't allow yourself to feel sad, you'll mess yourself up. It does like this (not always in this order): denial, despair (that's when you're so sad, it hurts... but please don't start drinking, just rest, eat right, get some light exercise), bargaining, anger, sadness, acceptance... . Happiness needs to be earned.