Yes, sad and over whelmed.
It is why I keep things broken down to manageable time frames. One month, somebody once said, anyone can quit anything for a month, then 2, now I see clear for a year, in a few months, I will make a plan for 2 to 5 years, whatever is manageable.
Fortunately, prior to coming to this board I had ruled out ever being able to moderate or drink again, just knowing it and saying It, my silly brain can't say it yet, out loud.