Alcoholism IS a neurological disorder. The recovery from it is completely counter-intuitive and requires much more of us (the ones in the vicinity) stepping away in healthy ways to allow the alcoholic space and dignity to take care of his or her own life without us judging them to be unfit.
The best thing I was able to do for my husband was to let him have full control over his own life.
His recovery is going very well now and it had absolutely nothing to do with me. It took a lot for me to see the drinking, relapses, etc. also had nothing to do with me.