Originally Posted by
vulcan30 
- How wil I cope with bars, pubs and party's and not feeling like I'm being deprived
- What will I do if I can't go to pubs and bars, I don't want to be a hermit & have no social life
- Will I lose friends? Will people think I'm boring? How will I explain to friends
- How will I cope with boredom and loneliness?
- Will life without drinking be a constant battle against cravings?
These are questions and concerns that those who're considering stopping drinking should be helped with. Rather than throwing about accusations of being in denial, we should give these things serious attention and discussion.
Hi Vulcan, here's my feedback:
How will I cope with bars, pubs and party's and not feeling like I'm being deprived
Personally, I had to stay away from them for the first couple of years – it was too much. It took me probably a year before I was comfortable going to a restaurant with a bar. The old saying is that if you hang around barbershops, eventually you’re going to get a haircut. I don’t hang out in bars anymore, though that was my home away from home for most of my adult life.
What will I do if I can't go to pubs and bars, I don't want to be a hermit & have no social life
Truth be told, drunk people are dull. There are lots of people who don’t drink like I used to, they were the people I used to avoid because they were uncomfortable with how drunk I got, and I was uncomfortable with being the only “lively” person in the room. Is it hard to learn to socialize without booze? Sure… but a small price to pay.
Will I lose friends? Will people think I'm boring? How will I explain to friends
Our old drinking friends can be an issue. We tend to surround ourselves with people whose choices mirror our own. I lost one old friend in particular, he laughed when I told him I had been in rehab. The rest have adjusted, and it turns out that many of them actually don’t drink that much and are fine to abstain when we get together.
How will I cope with boredom and loneliness?
If you don’t want to be lonely – be a friend. Boredom is just a sign that you either can’t stand to be alone with yourself, or that you aren’t challenging yourself. Get a hobby, take on that degree you always wanted, learn a new sport, volunteer… what you do with your spare time is a reflection of your interests and talents. So, who are you and what are your talents? Put them to good use!
Will life without drinking be a constant battle against cravings?
For the first month or two, yes. It goes away with time, but the clock seems to reset with each relapse. Quit now and you only have to suffer once. Personally, I fully expected the rest of my life to be a non-stop grudge match with me forever being pissed off that I can no longer drink. The truth is, my life and my outlook are so much better than I dared to hope. Is my life perfect? Absolutely not, but through my working a program I have learned how to ride out the rough patches, and no longer need to crawl into a bottle every time life gets ugly.
We all have to reach a point where the known costs of drinking exceed the perceived costs of quitting. For some of us, it comes down to life or death. What truly matters is that we get to a place where we accept that our drinking is beyond repair and will only get worse if we continue. My first sponsor told me, "never forget your last drink, or chances are you haven't had it yet." My last drink was 8 years ago, I had no idea what "recovery" meant, but I tried nonetheless. If you are absolutely ready to change your life for the better, dive in like your life depends on it because if you are an alcoholic, sooner or later, it will.
Good luck, please stay in touch!