Berrybean - it wasn't a step 9. I'm on my first three steps working with a sponsor right now.
I was essentially holding on to an old relationship (guy in recovery who relapsed and cheated on me with prostitutes on multiple different occasions, I finally found out about it months later, but he was financially supporting me while I went back to school - I planned on spending the rest of my life with this guy.) Genuinely. After the cheating I was done, in my heart. But I let it continue for selfish financial motives and fear. He worked out of town and I only saw him a few days a month anyways. I let him keep supporting me, paying my bills, kept the hope alive for him when I think I knew deep down inside it was over for good.
Then I met a new guy (also in recovery) and essentially started a relationship with him. Very slowly, but something real started to happen between us.
So I had to get honest with both of them. Old guy about my selfish motives and that we are done. New guy that I've been leading old guy on and telling xyz lies (lots of them) to cover it up.
Crazy thing is new guy wants to work through it. Surprised but we'll see what happens. All I know is recovery needs to be #1 priority, before work, school, relationships, anything.
Nothing but honesty going into 2018. And hopefully that will make it a sober year.