Lana,
First off, welcome to F & F. Sorry you needed to find us.
I spent years trying to figure out why the sweetest, nicest guy I ever met, and married turned into someone I didn't even want to know anymore.
I also found out that even if he didn't have the alcohol, he had stilled turned into someone that I would never have wanted to give the time of day to.
I found out that all the promises that he made were just lies. He couldn't change because he didn't want to. Being abusive was really the only way that he knew how to be. Sure, he was nice in the beginning, they have to be nice then or we would have never married them. They can not be abusive, but I really think that is only an act. I think once they feel comfortable in a situation, either marriage, living together or having children, that is when their real personality comes out.
Good for you for getting out now.
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy