Remember, when making boundaries that these state what YOU will do in the event of x, y or z. Not what anyone else is going to do - as that would be beyond your control.
So it might look like 'If we visit and a parent is under the influence of alcohol I will .....' (not 'if we are visiting mum will be be sober').
Your boundaries need to be enforceable by you yourself. They are to keep you and your child physically and emotionally safe.
Oh, and yourbjum doesntbdrink because of financial disappointment. She drinks because she chooses to believe that It will make her feel better, despite evidence to the contrary. If your mother is choosing to drink today and she had a big lottery win at lunchtime that would change their financial situation, what do you think she'd drink to celebrate? Tea?
No, she drinks because that's her escape route of choice and she is protected from the consequences of her choices by a family who love her. If she is an alcoholic, do not be surprised if she chooses alcohol over her grandchild until she realises that you really do mean business.
It does seem harsh when taking about a nice and mature lady of faith, but I also know a couple of ladies in my local AA who finally chose to get sober in their late 60s because their family decided enough was enough and that they were not willing to let their respective behaviors affect their grandchildren. They both have a good 5 years sobriety now, and their grandchildren enjoy staying with them and having them as loving rocks in their lives. People who can be relied upon and trusted. Both of them are widows and say that they'd have been in danger of harming themselves if they'd carried on drinking. They both suffered public humiliation because of their drinking. One at a local supermarket, and the other falling over drunk at a lawn bowls tournament.
There are so many older ladies who have suffered through alcoholism, just as have younger folk. But keeping it as the elephant in the room out of shame or embarrassment just ends in stalemate.
I'll be praying for your mother to find the humility to face up to and deal with her problems through Godsgrace, mercy and peace.
BB