I can completely relate to your post. I remember the fear I felt when I worried that my mom would try to carry the baby down the stairs...making sure she was always sitting down when she was holding him...deeply resenting her for not being able to keep herself together (and I am an alcoholic too!) That was about 15 years ago, and it was EXTREMELY hard. Now, she suffers from alcohol-induced dementia, which is even harder. I think it is completely acceptable to insist that she can't be around the baby when she is drinking, although then you will be playing the "is she or isn't she?" game constantly, which is utterly exhausting. But she is your mom, and you're her only child, so there needs to be a middle ground if it can be found.
