Gottalife

The trouble with alcholism is that alcohol is not the problem. Dougs father stopped drinking but that didn't fix the problem. It could even have made it worse.

My mother went downhill rapidly when I got sober. At the time I knew all these cool sponsors, and we had free access to treatment programs. I wheeled in all the big guns, she went through two different treatment programs to no avail. Each time I took her to a meeting she was more drunk. Eventually I gave up. She doesn't want it and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can even see how the delsuion works with her. She was a pretty good nurse at one time and anything to do with treatment is medical so she immediately takes the high ground and becomes everyones confidant and advisor. She truly could not see that there is anything much wrong with her. So she would try and sort out everyone else and not look at herself at all. Completely deluded or as the big book said, their alcoholic life is the only normal one. Now she is just a seething ball of resentment, nothing remaining of the original human being.

But miracles happen too. Last year back in New Zealand I was at a meeting in my favourite town, and they were having a birthday celebration for an elderly woman - 20 plus years. There were two other women with her, her daughter, and grand daughter both long term recovered. This was something to see. Three generations all recovered. It was incredible.

Maybe an important thing here is your own recovery. The obvious answer may not always be the best. My sponsor used to advise prayer in such situations, to seek out some guidance. It always worked.

When I asked "God, what is your will for me here?" I would soon have a strong feeling about what I needed to do.

God bless