Thank you all so far. I left Christmas evening just after presents opening in a pretty upset (but to myself) manner. I had a good 4 hour drive home in the middle of the night from Chicago to Green Bay where we live to really fester over the situation and spent most of my day at work today very tired and still very upset. I wrote a letter filled with honest words but also my ultimatum. I furiously didn't even want to see here when i dropped off this letter and the rest of the Christmas gifts which haven't been shared yet. However as I got back home and was sitting mostly in silence not even wanting to open up to my wife about it I just begun to run all the things through my head that could come about with this ultimatum. Something still has too be done, and boundaries still need to be made, but Im starting to feel like another "intervention" like sit-down with my wife and baby included in the room might be the next step before a full cut off.
I do want to try to get to an Al-Anon meeting in the area sometime soon. I did attend an open speaker AA meeting a while back which was very enlightening. I really hope my mom will choose to finally seek help. There are many people around who could help including the Deacon at her church who is a multi year sober now alcoholic who is very open about it in mass.