Today is my first Christmas with realizing the abuse I suffered as a child.
Here I am at Stage 1... feeling very disconnected from this day and the people around me.
"Stage 1: Silence
People who experience adverse situations, such as a traumatic event involving actual or threatened danger, face incredible challenges. The initial stage following a traumatic event is often a time of silence for the victim. It’s common for recently victimized people to refuse to talk about what happened. This may be due to a number of things, including stigma, isolation, shame, guilt, confusion, or denial about the event.
A person emerging from trauma may have low self-esteem at first and may feel overwhelmed and disconnected from the rest of the world."