Hi sorry for your difficult time.
A year ago I was your husband and you sound a lot like you are going through what my better half did.
I said a did a lot of the things your other half has with quite striking similarities.
I had more excuses than the Government, anything to stop anything or anyone taking my drinking away from me.
I was in heavy denial at this point.
The reason I post is to offer some Hope.
From being that guy I am now 105 days sober and part of a programme. Neither me or my better half could have predicted that this would be the case, everything seems so dark and hopeless when you are right in the eye of the storm.
I hope your spouse admits defeat to alcohol like Inhad to do in order to break free from the denial and start building a better life.
All the best to you and your family.