Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I used to call myself
A-hole and
f*** up, too. I somehow thought if I was being tough on myself it would help me stay sober. It never worked for me. What worked for me was understanding the nature of my addiction so I could intervene when and where it mattered most.
You can be sober on Christmas or anytime you choose to be.
Merry Christmas!!!
Best of Luck on Your Journey!!!