Our minds can be wired to believe alcohol is a need for us but it's literally a cancer!...we have to have a plan against it...to not take that first drink because if you anything like me...first drink can lead to a disrespectful, embarrassing, self centered individual and I can't take another day of that to my family...you deserve happiness we all do...find an AA group or other means of help but the main thing is to battle yourself...don't take that 1st drink