Hi Clep[at - welcome
yeah it's a lonely place to be when your loved one won;t give up and won;t acknowledge the pain he's causing for you.
You;re not alone tho - there's a lot of advice support and understanding here, both in this forum and our Friend and Family forums too.
I think you need to ask yourself whether this is the life you want and whether you think it's the kind of life you deserve.
I know - through thick and thin - but your husband had a part to part in this situation too.
I don't think anyone would willingly chose this life for themselves if they knew what would happen from the outset.
I really encourage you to read around and think about whats best for
you.
D