Needing advice for ending a relationship with an alcoholic
I am in vicious downward spiral with my alcoholic husband and I am trying (and failing!) at getting out of it as amicably as possible.
We met about a year and a half ago after we both had just gotten out of relationships that we were in for over 8 years (we are both almost 30 now). We were depressed and drinking our sorrows away, and since misery loves company, we hit it off. One drunken day we got married at the courthouse because he said it would help give him the courage to quit drinking and smoking cigarettes. He was also insanely jealous and would constantly accuse me and make up drunken delusions in his head that I was cheating which he promised to stop if we were married. Boy, was I an idiot. Shortly after that, I got more or less sober and realized that I don't even like him as a person. He is tolerable when he is sober but I cannot stand him when he drinks which is anytime he isn't working. He also gets verbally and sometimes mildly physically violent when he gets too drunk. I have tried to end it with him several times over the last 4 or 5 months. He gets very upset everytime I bring it up, causing him to drink more and us to fight leaving no chance for me to even talk to him about it when he is sober.
The other problem is he cannot affors a place on his own and has no family or friend's houses to which he can go. I wouldn't mind him staying as a roommate for a bit if he could get sober, but he keeps trying to guilt trip me into saying he has no reason to get sober without me. He has also tried and failed over the last few months and refuses to go to rehab or AA. I also recently found out he has been a severe alcoholic for about 10 years(he has being drinking anywhere from 400mL to 1L of liquor daily and he isn't large guy) and it wasn't just because of his breakup like he previously infered.
I don't have thousands of dollars to spend on a lawyer for a divorce, so I really need to be on good terms with him. I am at a loss and do not know what to do. It is a very unhealthy situation and as you can imagine, it makes me want to drink too which is a whole other struggle.
Any advice would be great. I have tried both being a supportive friend as well as being cold and stern and neither are working.