H.G
I don't know if you had the chance to read my response to your thread on "Elephant", but in this post you used the key word "CORE" When I was asked to compromise my core values it made me angry. I tried to just let it go, but it was always there. I worked on it and stayed in the marriage for 6 years. I was not the same person and when my ex ah would say "your not the same" I would get angry, but you know what I wasn't the same and it was ok. How could I be the same? He brought someone else into our marriage. It wasn't the same and it never would be. Now you can do the start over and try to salvage, but I couldn't and everytime something would go wrong or I wasn't the same ole gal, he would go elsewhere. That was his excuse. I have heard "I don't love you anymore" Your a bitch" "You have changed" I would fight it. Until I accepted that I changed and yes I had a right to be a bitch. I was able to move on. I let things go on to long. I took responsibility for my part in that. I too was angry at myself, but at the time I did my best. I am 46 years old and had to ask myself is this the way I want the next 46 years to be? I hear your struggle, you are so torn looking for the answers. Look in the mirror, listen to yourself the answers are within. I became my own worst enemy and I had to let go. I can hold my head high now. People will say to me "How could you throw away 23 years of marriage?" The answer was easy. The marriage was killing me, It was eating my soul. I had to survive and the only way for me was to get out. I am different now. Maybe a little more selfish and somedays that is ok. Life goes on and I am going to live it. Keep working on yourself and work with the anger.