My Suggestion. . .DON'T DIVORCE and FIND IT IN YOURSELF TO ALLOW HIM TO SALVAGE HIS PART IN YOUR MARRIAGE. You have to keep in mind and remember that the past is behind you and not in front of you and if you want resolution, you need to help yourself with finding a healing sense to let go and go forward. Grow from his mistakes, remembering that when he was drinking, HE WAS SICK AS IF HE HAD CANCER-Would ya walk out on him then or not be so receptive to the help he needs? Just a thought.
Originally Posted by harleygirl92156
I am very angry at my A. He is 9 months sober, but the after shocks of the things he did when drinking are still being felt, lies, infidelity, and verbal abuse among them. He is now working VERY HARD to salvage our marriage and make it better than it was before, but I must say I am not overly receptive.
I find although I am angry with him, I am more angry with myself. Angry that I put up with what I did, angry that I allowed myself to believe his lies, that I knew he was cheating on me and talked myself out of it telling myself it was just me being insecure, angry I didn't take better care of myself while he was drinking ie. Al anon, just angry that I was so much in denial, I was gulible and stupid.
I am working with a counselor on this, going to al anon, discussing with hubby, but I still just feel that anger in my core. Any suggestions or tips to help me work through this deep seeded anger at myself would be appreciated.
I am finding it is easier to forgive my hubby than it is myself. I am my own worst critic.