I just left court... we were there for 5 hours, waiting. While we were waiting my STBXAH and I were alone and started talking. His verbal diarrhea about how awful I am and how all of this is my fault started spewing. I just sat there and honestly remembered this thread as he was talking.
Everything he tried to tell me that I am, I thought "no, that is not me" and a couple of times I just said "I am very sorry you feel that way." I just reconfirmed in my mind that these are his thoughts and feelings, they are not mine and it really helped me survive the experience better than I have in the past.
It is SO hard hearing such awful things about yourself, especially from someone you once loved, but I was able to hold my head up high because of what I've been learning from all of you wonderful people. Thank you!