Shay09

Hello, I'm Shay. I'm new, obviously. I'm currently addicted to alcohol, Xanax, and I enjoy (I guess ) marijuana. I once read here about being an "IV drunk". I'm that person too.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm 32. I've been drinking whiskey about 10 years. I currently drink a 5th over a 24 hour period...honestly, slightly more. I've had three breaks in the cycle. However, I call them chances. I refer to them as "the ones that got away". I cant tell you much about the Xanax, because I've lost count. I know I buy at least 60 bars each month. I know I am scared to death when I see that bottle empty to 10 or so pills left.
Hello, I'm Shay. I need help. One rehab stunt, one hospital 7th heaven floor extended stay... due to a suicide attempt and blowing a .356, one pregnancy that oddly was the ONLY time I gave it all up cold turkey and felt alive again.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm painfully and chronically ill with MCTD & fibromyalgia. My 30s were to be my best years. I was diagnosed at 29. My health, career, and future were ripped away. As mentioned, I had stopped drinking because I was pregnant. I went back to school for health and physical science, I was training for my first bodybuilding competition, I was starting to thrive as a personal trainer. I found my passion. That is all gone now. Whatever pain I must be masking, that passion concealed it. I am now utterly devastated and lost. First world problems...as they say.
Hello, I'm Shay. It's 4 am. I'm about a 5th and a half in plus pills. I can still type this. You'd never know I was completely inebriated. You'd never know I havent slept in days. You'd never know I don't want to live anymore. I'm here though. I joined! I don't do this type of thing. I guess, like lifting weights, I'm feeling a release.
Hello, I'm Shay.
I appreciate the outlet. I understand the struggle. I'm so sorry that I've become this monster, and I'm so sorry that anyone else here would have to carry this burden. The liquor can get so heavy. It must be the changing of the bottle size.
Thank you,
SHAY