Morning, everyone. Drinking coffee and reading around SR while letting YouTube follow some thread of songs it made up...artist after artist, enjoying it. Cloudy wet December morning here. Needed the rain.
Feeling good this morning. Will be home first half of the day...cooking ahead for Christmas, tweaking the house, some cleaning and laundry. Then later, I will be with my mother to make supper and do some Christmas cards with her.
I struggle against her depression and despair every day. Nothing makes me want to drink more than the hour or two ahead of going to her place, the anticipation of being in that deep darkness. I am not griping about her. Her grief and loss and despair are real and understandable. She is not being intentionally manipulative. It is just hard.
I AM ok. Getting through each day with the help of friends, partner, SR, planning, music, being busy with my own life. When things get dicey I make a call to someone who gets me. And I come read and post here.