Maybe get to some MORE meetings. EVERY day if necessary. And remember, meetings aren't the AA program of recovery. Steps with a sponsor is the program of recovery. I sat in meetings for a long time wondering why I wasn't getting better - but I needed to actually do that recovery work myself. Once i accepted that and started doibg the work, then i started gettjng some relief.
I would also suggest that if you really think you need a&e you call an ambulance (or a taxi) and get there yourself. I should imagine the same husband who thought you shouldn't go to hospital would also have told you not to drink hand sanitizer, so you are capable of going against what he thinks. Our recovery happens when we decide enough is enough and make it happen ourselves. No one can do this for us. Not parents, or spouses, or our kids, or our friends. There are people who can help us as we get on with that work but it is our shovel and our mess to dig our self out of.
It's tempting to think that because its hard, and painful that this will stop us succeeding. But it doesn't. As long as we can find the willingness to lean into your fear and pain and do what you need to to get sober and ignore your AV Chuntering away in your head telling you that you need or deserve alcohol.
I presume you chucked out all the alcoholic drinks in the house. Well perhaps it would be a good idea to replace household goods containing alcohol with varieties that don't.
You can do this. With or without your partners help.
BB