He crossed the line I didn't think he would cross
I've been in and out of mediation and legal for years with my AXH. Our kids are now 6, and up until now my mediator has recommended agains me filing for custody, in part because my legal case isn't great and in part because the kids are doing well and she thinks a court battle would be worse for them than riding this out.
The big thing convincing her that they were safe - besides the fact that they are old enough to go to the doorman or call me on the iPad - is that he's never driven drunk with them.
Until tonight. My babysitter called me to tell me that he was drunk when he came to pick them up (he had dropped them off, late, less than an hour prior). She refused to let him take them. He claimed he hadn't been drinking, then said only one, then cried and begged her not to tell me because he would lose his kids.
In speaking with the kids, I believe he must have been drunk on Friday when he picked them up from school too. He told them they were skipping an after school class that was a 20 minute drive so they could "hang out."
I am livid.
I know I need to start with our mediator. I don't even know what to threaten. I just want him to give me the kids until he can get his **** together: he did intensive outpatient about 2.5 years ago and was doing well until he discontinued their aftercare program 5-6 months later. Since then he's been cycling thru relapse / discovery / mediation / recommitting to sobriety every 2-3 months (or in other words not actually in recovery).