Hi glad you're here and sober.
If I have caught your drift I can relate a little.
First few weeks of my sobriety I felt a bit of a distance between me and my partner, who is the love of my life by the way and she had done nothing to ignite this feeling.
It didn’t last and deep down I knew it wouldn’t but looking back I put it down to these things.
1. I was actually a little numb towards everything, a bit like being reborn into a world of awareness without alcohol dumbing my senses.
2. I was no longer scrambling to make gestures towards her that were actually born a lot out of guilt and the pain I knew I had put her through.
3. I believe getting sober properly involves going inward to ourselves and a lot of thinking, remembering and contemplating goes on as our brains begin to heal and function at least close to what they should after alcohol abuse so what you are describing, again ( if I have caught your drift) would seem plausible.
In actual fact getting and staying sober has been and continues to be the best thing I could have ever done for my better half and it keeps getting better.
You are changing, evolving even so don’t be too hard on yourself or expect too much of yourself. I have learnt slowly and still am that not all of the things I feel necessarily hold any long term meaning and learning just to sit with them, then let them pass is all part of healing.