You probably are not nearly as good an actor as you think you are. We have an alcoholic in our shop, he drinks daily, once he came in on a Friday and told me he had drank a lot the night before with his adult son. I have never found anything more repulsive in my life. There are days I cannot get within 5 feet of him, because he stinks. I am sure he showered, but he reeks. Alcohol does something to your body chemistry and that putrid smell leeches out of your pores. I was always afraid of it. I remember my ex husband one time, coimng off a bad bender where he claimed I gave him food poisoning, he stunk like ammonia.
I could tell within the first minute on the phone, if he was drunk, sober or would be passed out by the time I got home. (Usually when he said "Hello").
Poor it all out, you are not fooling anyone, I have never seen a good drunk actor, if you are "acting" sober, then you are wasting your family and therapist's time.
Pour it out and go to the hospital. I am not a pharmacist, but that combination of drugs is not good, especially not with copious amounts of booze. Go to the psych ward, tell them you are a danger to yourself. When you feel better, read the immortal alcoholic and the Friends and Family section of this board, then think about your actions and whether picking up a drink is really the thing you want to do. Around the world, the mental health systems suck, there is no nice way to put it, therefore, you must become your own advocate.