Listen.
I’ve be alcohol free for 14 months and I hope to offer encouragement to my friends that are just starting out on their sober journey or who may be struggling.
I drank practically daily for over 2 decades. I thought that the ritual of having a cocktail or glass of wine at the end of my day was an adult-earned necessity. My parents modeled this belief and I chose friends that supported this practice. In the back of my mind, from early on, there was a tiny quiet voice questioning why I needed to consume a drug daily to escape from my life. Thankfully, which each hangover, with each terrible thing that I did in a blackout state (and yes, I did some things to this day that make me ache inside with regret and horror), that voice grew louder and louder. Until one day, in April 2016, I woke up. That day wasn’t the end of my drinking, but it is when I started my path to recovery. I had 30 days sober that stint. In May, when the 30 days were up, I thought maybe I could drink moderately, but discovered, as many do, that alcohol use crept back up over the summer. In October 2016, I quit again, and this time, I have over a year of sobriety.
I never thought I could have fun without alcohol. I thought life would be boring and drab. I thought that alcohol added the color and brilliance to fun times and events, and that it made the mundane and sad times bearable. I am here to tell you those are lies. Lies that alcohol tells us. Lies that our society reinforces. Lies that our family and friends might believe. I have not felt as alive and present as I do today, since I was a young child. I have clarity, motivation and freedom. I have more time than I ever realized, and the desire to make the most of every moment I’ve been given. I have the humbleness to acknowledge the suffering woman that did sad and hurtful things to herself and others when she was in the dark cloak of addiction. I have the willingness to try to be the best person I can be and forgive myself for mistakes with love and grace and move forward.
If you are here reading this, it is because you too have heard the voice, and it’s getting louder, isn’t it? Listen: your life is waiting for you.