Best wishes to you and your family, Muunray. I know it's not easy.
It is helpful for me to embrace hope, faith, and love.
I was going to add "tough love" to those but instead, I want to continue to focus on making and keeping boundaries; framing it that way fits better for me. That way, I'm more focused on what my goals and limits are, what I need to do in my life, what I want to do with my life, as opposed to putting energy towards trying to "change or affect" another (for example - my son, my husband) via tough love. This seems to be working fairly well for me.