D MOM,
It seems to me that an alcoholic holds in his/her heart so much shame... IF they KNOW and admit to the disease. They are painfully aware of "right from wrong"; they KNOW it will kill them eventually, yet their "demon" tells them they have to use just to survive. Can you imagine? And through it all, the people who love them just keep telling them they HAVE to stop. We remind them time and time again of the horrible things they do, and how much they are hurting us... And we keep demanding they stop. Perhaps we even give them ultimatiums. So, it is with this thought that it does not surprise me that alcoholics don't like being told what to do; because they probably feel that they simply cannot do it at all.
Take care,
Meg