Yep, sounds like me every time I tried to get sober. My conflicted feeling go away at around 1-2 months and return again around 7-8 months.
The AV seems to go to sleep for awhile and then returns, when we least expect it. Think of all of the repulsive things about booze, the sickness, embarrassing moments, loosing family-friends-jobs-freedom, death.
There is no glamor in booze, only a slow agonizing end of the road.
You can do this!!
