Originally Posted by
Bonecracker 
Thanks.
Good questions.....Rationally I know there's no real benefit to alcohol. In fact, I've been observing lately........two small whiskies....gives you a glow and a warm feeling and probably takes the edge/anxiety off briefly....granted it's the drink/drugs that's creating anxiousness/an edge in the first place. But then of course I may or may not stop at two and then my emotions are greatly affected by...the affect of the alcohol and a spiral of bad decisions ensues. So really very very little benefit. In fact it's making me thinking that really I frame alcohol in a romantic or ritualistic sort of way......
....so at the end of the day.....the conclusion is to REFRAME old beliefs that are no longer working.
It's highly unlikely that I would touch any substance without alcohol. Like I said, I don't even smoke. I want to quit both. Well, something in me has been fighting to keep alcohol in the picture.......when I had those 6 months and other times I was probably thinking of alcohol in the "future", but I wasn't romantizising drugs. I deeply regret ever having gone near them.
Yeah, the bad events have kept on repeating themselves. Last night I know I was been set up for a beating. I put myself with dodgy dangerous people. One who'd just done 15 year (first time spoke to this person). The last incident I allowed myself to be brought to probably the most dangerous part of the city (I didn't realize we were going there). Being set up to be robbed. Managed to get out. Spent a fortune. Feeling like shite and old and dirty from consuming. This is no fun.
Yeah cocaine is an extremely dangerous drug. It put me a in a lot of bad/risky situations as well. I'm lucky to be alive today and I've done a lot of things while high that I'm not proud of.
Trust me I was just like you. I only used when I was drunk but if you continue to combine the two eventually you WILL get to the point when you will use cocaine while sober. It happened to me and I thought it never would. I've seen it happen to plenty of others. We always like to think we are the exception but that type of thinking is usually what gets us into trouble when it comes to alcohol/drugs.
Remember it is only going to get worse. Addiction is progressive. You got lucky this last time but eventually your luck will run out. Cocaine tends to put us into a lot of bad situations cause we don't think logically and it's a hard drug that has serious legal consequences even if you get caught with a small amount.
Remember You are not dealing with pot dealers and pot users. A lot of people involved with cocaine are dangerous.
Also, the amount of damage you doing to your body by mixing cocaine and alcohol is extremely bad. It creates a chemical called Cocaethylene which is bad for your liver. Google it for more info. Now I'm no doctor but I know at the end of my usage stage I used to get liver pains when I mixed the two. As soon as I stopped mixing the two (not quitting just mixing) the pains stopped.
Keep all these facts in mind next time you contemplate using. It should make it much easier to resist. Go to a NA meeting too if you feel the need. I was hesitant at first myself but it's cool and it does work.