Breaking cocaine and alcohol nightmare
Hello all,
I've somehow managed to add the vicious cycle of cocaine to the mix. Only ever consuming when I drink alcohol. I think I convinced myself that if I could stay sober for a while then I could moderate alcohol consumption.....
Overlooking the fact that it's alcohol that lowers my boundaries and makes everything "acceptable" to take (coke heroin cigarettes.........I don't even smoke normally)
This year I was about 6 months clean and sober and then foolishly thought wine would be ok (I never wanted to consume again) but that night I went out looking and found. And basically the last couple of months have been a disaster........I've normally being a binger and that's what's been happening....massive weekend binge...swearing and meaning that I never wanted to touch it again.......but then horrible mood swings......deciding on a drink to "take the edge off" swearing I won't go out.....and then the urge is huge.
While it's happening I'm almost in disbelief that it's happening again. I'm putting myself with people who are using me and taking advantage of me.....(silly drunk clown with his boundaries wide open)
Anyway, I'm looking to break free from this nightmare.