Originally Posted by
Suchafool 
I’m trying to stay positive about inpatient rehabs and meetings, but it’s so hard. My husband 5 years, 5 inpatient rehabs across the country, 2 outpatient extended programs and sober houses. Every single time he has an affair. He tells me the meetings, groups, discussions and team building force their togetherness day in and day out for 28 days. The see each other all day, eat together and share their most intimate moments. I don’t understand this way of thinking from the people who run theses programs!! Can’t they see this is like dating camp? CoEd field trips??? Are you serious????? Seeing each other in all the weekly meetings???? I give up, I push to get him help, sacrifice and this is the outcome every single time.
I want to start by saying that this type of repetitive behavior - cheating is horrid. My husband cheated while he was using outside of a treatment center. Ive been asking myself would I have felt worse if he had cheated inside of one. Its unbelievable painful I know, but none of it is your fault.
Ive been through a lot of counseling alone, and with my husband on this and I accept the conclusion there are various reasons why people cheat, and why people abuse substances. There are many "inside" factors that contribute to both in most cases.
I actually do place some responsibility on the rehabs for this issue. Because addiction affects the brain, which affects the emotions, along with logic and reason. Many rehabs do throw people in together, with staff who are really not medical or psych professionals.. Ive even heard of places where the staff gets it on with the patients. Picking a rehab is serious business and I feel this way because one we picked without much research was terrible, and he ended up not staying. There are rehabs that are not co-ed. and ones that handle dual diagnosis, mental health issues, ones that are for longer than 28 days. (that is not enough time for many people and often these refer patients to sober houses or groups for aftercare where again there is little or no professional treatment) It takes a lot of work to find the good ones that fit into a family's budget if not covered in full by insurance. That is incredibly sad also.
I know it will be hard to move on, but I think you deserve something much more than this. I hope one day you can look back and know this road has led you to a happy place and peace.