Hey guys,
I have had incredibly bizarre and turbulent few days.
To be fair I’ve had quite a turbulent few months. I think my fractured wrist took more out of me than I thought, and it was noted at work that I had become a little quieter than usual, and I got dragged into my managers office at that time for ‘a chat’.
I know that I am never going to be “the life and soul of the party” and if there is one thing that you do not need to tell quiet people, it’s that they are quiet. I am also a worrier and when you worry, it spills over to everything that you do. And I do not have a permanent contract so every day that I go to work, I think ‘I could get fired today. Have to do my best!’ And it gets exhausting.
As I was settling in yesterday afternoon to do Mr. X’s dictations after the clinic yesterday morning, my phone rang and I was dealing with a query. As it happens, while I was on the phone, my manager tried to call me but couldn’t get through and so called my colleague instead. When I got off my phone, my colleague told me that our manager wanted to see me immediately. I just said “God, what have I done now?” And left the room.
I walked up all of those flights of stairs, feeling wobbly all the way. I knocked on her door and she said “come in Tetra. When I sat down she handed me a pen and said “could you sign here please?” I took the pen and asked “ok, what am I signing?” She said “it’s your contract extension. I have requested another year from HR but they can be quite funny about things so it could be 3 months at a time.” She also mentioned that if I needed a chat, her door is always open.
I walked out of that office in a daze, like a young fawn on wobbly legs. When I made it back to the office and fell into my chair, I couldn’t miss the glances of my colleagues, who were wondering what was up. And so I told them about it and all of my concerns. And in return for my openness, I was warmly welcomed into the fold once again, and they assured me that I will never be fired from here, that Mr. X is very fond of me and the only way I would be fired would be if I murdered him, or one of them.
Now I can sink back against the pillows for the first time in months. I can actually enjoy the run up to Christmas this year instead of worrying that I’m getting the axe. I have a few months (at least and if not more!) of reprieve anyway, and I’ve become quite fond of Mr. X and I’ve been told he is fond of me too. He is due for retirement when he reaches 65, so I would hope to stick by him until he reaches that milestone anyway.
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I actually wrote the above yesterday evening when I was still taken aback by and mulling over the days events. After the awful day I had today I’m almost regretful that I signed anything at all!!!
I’m raising a glass of ‘7Up Free’ to all of you as we are about to say goodbye to yet another year of ups and downs. But my ups were made wonderful by the support of so many friends here and IRL. Any time I've had self doubts, I've been lifted by your generous posts and messages. May Christmas 2017 bring you everything your hearts desire and may it be happier, kinder and more peaceful for those in difficult circumstances. Love always Tetra