Acknowledging the Negative
ACKNOWLEDGING THE NEGATIVE
By Jen Hetzel Silbert
In my organization development and strategy work I remind people that, “we see more of what we look for.” This principle is fundamental to Appreciative Inquiry (AI), which asks questions about moments of success and triumph, then builds on the strengths of stories to explore bold—yet possible—stretch goals for the future.
One of the questions I am often asked is…what about the negative? How can we move forward when there is deep-seated pain and resentment that makes conversations about the positive and what’s possible impossible to initiate or comprehend?
Storms brew in many forms, and the pain they bring is real. Be the ill feelings from a company acquisition, an unwelcomed re-org, leadership change, or lost job, or from a fall-out with a friend, a lost loved one, broken home, community, or nation – hurt is hurt is hurt. So where does Appreciative Inquiry (AI) – strength-based, positive change – fit when it comes to moving beyond hurt and despair?
1. Healing is more than the mere absence of pain. Likewise, peace is more than the absence of violence; it’s about flourishing societies.
To heal from difficult experiences (regardless of context, culture, or scale), we need to do more than get rid of the unwanted or the negative.
Victor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, wrote that optimism in the face of tragedy can turn suffering into a human achievement. He called this “tragic optimism” and related it to his own experiences as a Holocaust survivor. As a prisoner every freedom is taken away but “the last of human freedoms”—the ability to “choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”2 No matter the circumstances, no matter how tragic or horrific the experience, we all have a choice in attitude that makes possible positive growth. And far more than the absence of pain, the path of healing is one we must choose for positive growth to begin.
2. The process is as important as the outcome. The “truth” is not something you “get” to but something you "talk" to. Storytelling itself is a process, and it is society’s oldest, most universal means of creating and sharing knowledge. Its power comes not only from the “data” it reveals but also from its generative process of engaging, moving, and inspiring connection – connection to new perspectives and learning, as well as connection among people.
Today I'm grateful for this article, for acknowledging the negative, for hope.
KTF