Even doctors have a hard time understanding addiction. It's a mental illness characterized by a compulsion, it's progressive and often deadly. No one knows why some alcoholics/addicts (the minority) are able to stop using/drinking one day at a time while most don't. We try to understand it using rational thinking but the addict is incapable of that. Most important, our recovery is as important as the addicts because this disease can destroy everyone around the addict. Alanon was a huge help for me in detaching and getting to acceptance. It helps to pray for the ability to accept while understanding we are completely powerless over other people. A big hug!