Originally Posted by
firebolt 
Ugg those questions, Soulful...so difficult.
I would say you didn't waste all this time for a couple reasons.
1 - There WERE good times. That's why we stay!
2 - Just consider that you needed the experience for your life. The ultimate outcome is that you WILL find yourself again, and that you HAVE changed from it all.
Was the whole relationship fake? I grapple with that one too. I'd say that while neither of us could love eachother authentically, or in the right way...that there was love, and some happiness.
I trust that one day we will look back and understand that we took the road we took because we needed to. It made us stronger. And I don't know about you, but it made me finally love myself enough to ensure that I will create a life of peace and happiness, and that is absolutely priceless.
Well said. I'm still grappling with this as well - we were together for 25 years and they weren't all bad years. If I had known fifteen years ago what I know now (that the problems with alcohol were much worse than I thought), would I have stayed? Probably not. But having Kid tempers any regrets I might have about "wasting time".
And there was a time when ex was a person with a drinking problem - during those years we had a lot of great experiences together and really did care about each other. Now he is mainly a drinking problem with some elements of a person attached, which is sad.