The way I see things is that if I were not with my XAH, I would not have my children, and they are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You will get past this. You won't care so much about the "why" of it all, or how could this happen, etc. You will simply live. You will come to a place to live and enjoy watching your son grow, and letting the rest go. With these addicts, we don't get the closure we want and deserve, and that's difficult.
It's likely he had a nose bleed I would bet. A bloody nose can create a huge mess. Don't get reeled back in.
Sending you huge hugs.