Originally Posted by
YCDT 
Thank you for everyones input. I feel terrible asking the question and then went to a restaurant and had 3 glasses of Sangria. I feel like I asked this stupid question because I knew I was going to do it. Although I am far from drunk, as I am not a lightweight by any means, I feel angry at myself and I want more. I know my problem is excess. I am not going to get any, but this has shown me that I need to just stay away from it completely. ****. Why do I suck so much?
You don't suck. It's just addiction. If you were addicted to gambling,would you go hangout at a casino on payday and not expect to be gritting your teeth? I do a lot of business with bar owners and have to take clients to bars all the time for meetings(their choice) and buy their drinks. I no longer drink is the difference. I had to get some time between me and the 'life' before I was able to do this without temptation. Like I said before "I failed many a 'test' along the way". Imagine putting as much focus,time,energy,ect..on NOT drinking as you are with the drinking. It takes hard work and commitment to get and stay sober. I'm only almost a year(I don't count days) and it was at least month 3 before I wasn't gritting my teeth watching others enjoy their drinks 'responsibly'. I also can't say I will never drink again. I'm just not going to drink today.