It seems the message is really clear, though I don't think you are ready to believe it...
I think if I were you I would stop trying to contact him and find ways to keep busy so that I wasn't so fixated on him. Regain a little dignity. There is no way to make someone contact you or love you. It doesn't sound like he wants to talk, so not much you can do about that. You may never get the answers you seek. Have you thought about some therapy or Al Anon meetings?
I've lost a few relationships in my years. Often it just ends with no explanation. Sometimes that's better, though I doubt you want to hear that.
((hug)) Call a friend and go out and have some fun.
