You sound like I was, you've incorporated drinking into your nightly routine. I did that for ~4 years, drank every night. I would justify it because some nights I only drank 6 budweisers, others I'd drink 12. I had a fridge in my home office specifically for beer.
I quit due to the emotional ups & downs and depression. Also for health reasons such as losing weight etc.
I walked past a crate of Jameson bottles on sale and considered grabbing the entire crate and checking out with it today. I know that it's not easy but if I can do it, I believe you can too.