Hi MM
I'm sorry for your pain - but drinking on it changes nothing - it never allows the wound to heal, we might numb ourselves for a little while but the pain comes back red and raw.
I really believe we;re meant to grieve a relationship, then move on.
You have to have faith there's someone out there who gets you, who wants you and who won't leave you.
This guy was not that guy - but it's a big world out there
D