First AA Meeting
I stopped thinking about it and finally just went. I'm glad I did. Everyone was so welcoming. I took a seat in the back, and the guy next to me introduced himself and asked if I was new. I said I was, and it was my first meeting. He took me over and introduced me to some other women, and they pulled up a chair for me. The leader asked if it was anyone's first time, and I was hesitant to even raise my hand, but I did and was asked to introduce myself. I only gave my name, and she said "and you are..." I said "um, an alcoholic?" And then that was that. I've never said that out loud before, had my own personal debates in my mind if I am or not, and to be honest, felt like it was expected of me to say that whether I was ready to or not. That was the only part of the experience that made me feel uncomfortable.
It was a discussion meeting and the topic was gratitude. I didn't share but found myself listening with interest to what these people were saying. What really struck me was that yesterday morning, during one hellacious hangover, I started crying and said out loud "I need to get off this merry-go-round." So I took my a$% to a meeting today, and as an elderly woman was sharing (15 years of sobriety today) she turned and looked at me and said "Keep coming back. You can get off this merry-go-round." Almost creepy, but I knew then I was where I needed to be.
At the end I had a list of about 20 phone numbers from other ladies, and a couple approached me telling me to call anytime. I left feeling a whole lot lighter than I had when I walked in.