Reading these forums is definitely comforting. The blunt hubby advice was mean and probably true, but he needs me as a caretaker, and I love him. I have to stop hurting him. I have to put my life together. I can’t keep using excuses, for my behavior, grown intelligent people should not handle problems this way. I know all of that, and then the next moment, rational thought flies out of the window and says, “Hey, one more time won’t hurt.” I work at a bar, and put my two weeks notice in this morning, to get out of that environment, and then I went and made all the other bad choices. I just deleted all the sites and numbers, it took all of my will power.